Letting Go
Kerissa • April 3, 2012
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
my heart exults,
and with my song I give thanks to Him.
-Psalm 28:7
About two weeks ago, I received a needed varicella vaccine in my right upper arm because I didn’t really think it would cause a CRPS flare-up (usually, CRPS starts in a hand or foot). Well, it did just what I thought wouldn’t happen…from shoulder to elbow, my arm has now been hurting, aching, burning, and throbbing. When I was first diagnosed with CRPS in my right foot back in March 2011, it never entered my mind that I would later have CRPS in all my extremities! It’s been a tough two weeks. I can’t move my arm as easily, and the pain has been bad. I never thought my right arm would hurt more than my left…! Looking back, I’m so thankful to the Lord that I can’t know the future; because if I knew back in March ’11 that one day I’d have terrible pain in ALL my limbs, I know things would probably be so much harder to bear. I thank God that He supplies me with grace for each day. And yes, it’s still sometimes hard to believe that the shot I had caused a new spread, but I continue to sing a song in my heart and give thanks to my Savior (see above verse). My heart trusts in Jesus, and I KNOW without a doubt that “I am helped” because “the Lord is my strength and my shield.” I don’t like feeling pain in all my limbs, but I’m just so thankful that I’m in good hands—I’m in the Lord’s hands, and I’m in the hands of all my doctors and therapists. I take great comfort in that. 🙂 As of today, I don’t know where this will take me as my doctors continue to treat this horrible, rare condition, but I rest securely in the everlasting arms of Jesus. 🙂 I will keep plugging away and climbing this LONG stair. And looking on the bright side, I’m glad and thankful that this new CRPS pain is in my upper arm and not in my right hand!
This is one of my favorite songs by Matt Hammitt of Sanctus Real. He is the father of one year old Bowen who has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. The words in his song remind me of God’s sovereignty and give me peace. Take a listen and read the words. 🙂 Blessings to you, my friends!
Dear friends, At the beginning of October, I started taking a new medication for the autoimmune disease. I thought I was tolerating it just fine, but after several days passed, I began experiencing nausea, loss of appetite, weakness all over, and increased pain. 🙁 It’s like I’m experiencing another “mito crash.” I found out that this specific lupus medication affects mitochondria. That is, it causes an overproduction of reactive oxygen species (ROS). This, in turn, causes cell damage and oxidative stress. I sure wish the rheumatologists would have known about this before prescribing. But I have to remember that Mitochondrial DNA Depletion Syndrome is rare, and they’re not “mito experts.” Anyways, the last time I felt like this was back in May.. I’m so grateful to God that I haven’t needed to be hospitalized from this, but at the same time, I’m also sad that this happened at all, especially because I had such a nice stretch of stable health. I’d really appreciate your prayers, that this muscle weakness can resolve soon, and that this increased pain all over will get back to my baseline. Every time I have a “mito crash,” it feels like I’m fighting the flu which always sucks. The pain has been hard to bear. And whenever I’m in the thick of it, it’s difficult to remember that this too will eventually pass. 😢 Pray that I will endure and follow Jesus’ example like this passage from Hebrews 12:1-2– “Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross...” Thank you all so much for praying for me. ❤️
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." James 1:2-3
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
